The reality of brokenness

Last week, as we sat down to dinner, the conversation turned to someone whom my family knows, someone who is presently undergoing a time of trial. I mentioned that this person was “suffering,” to which Hayden quickly asked, “What is suffering?” I said that suffering was a time in which a person experiences pain and agony, to which Addie chimed in with “Daddy, what is agony?” I fumbled a bit but finally spit out something about feeling like you were being torn apart on the inside. Both Addison and Hayden were quiet for a moment, and then Hayden remarked, “When I got moved to parent contact last year, I was in agony. And when I got home. . .I suffered.” We all laughed and celebrated the use of new vocabulary words, but behind the laughter I was wincing for I know all too well that suffering is anything but a laughing matter.

Let’s face it. Life is difficult at best, and then sometimes it falls apart. We lose a job. A spouse dies. Our pension disappears with the ruling of a bankruptcy judge. Vows are broken. Friendships are severed. Old age or sickness robs us of our vitality. In a moment, all that we knew, all that we depended on for safety and security can and does evaporate. The result is we suffer. Tears become our food and pain the currency of our lives. Hope is elusive as we scramble to reassemble the shattered pieces of what was once our life. There is just one problem. The pieces don’t always go back together. They lie scattered about, far flung and crushed beyond recognition. Brokenness is our new houseguest, but he was not invited. This was not the life we had planned. This was not on the agenda. Brokenness has become our new normal, and we are not happy about it. We look for something, someone to blame.

Sometimes we blame others. “It was her fault.” “He did this to me!” Most of the time, we blame God. A human instrument might have been involved, but if God had done his job, none of this would have happened. At best, God has allowed our life to fall apart, and at worst, God is the one who shattered us. Yes, God is the one to blame. He has to be the one who did it because God’s sole job is to keep us safe and happy. What else could being God mean other than ensuring that we experience no sickness, no loss, but remain comfortable and safe with our perfect relationships, trendy cars, cushy jobs and benefit packages? Yes, God must be to blame. If God is to blame then what kind of God is he? Is he a God that we want anything to do with at all?

I suppose this is the normal progression of things, our movement through the grief of a life now shattered. It is quite natural to look for someone, something to blame, and God seems a perfect candidate. He surely seems to have dropped the ball. I have my own laundry list of experiences I have held up before God, accusing him of sleeping on the job. But when I pay attention, really pay attention to what is on the list I have to be honest that looking back, I can see God in each of those instances. In every experience of brokenness, God showed up. He inserted himself into my life, not on the front end as some great cosmic force field, deflecting any and all experiences of suffering. No, God was much more personal than that. God joined me in my suffering. He got down on the floor and began to pick up the pieces of what was my life, and in his own way put them back together. I have watched God do this enough that I am beginning to consider giving God a new job description. Maybe I’ll let him off the hook for the suffering. Maybe he isn’t really suited to be a great cosmic force field, but he sure does make a wonderful companion, a healer in the midst of suffering.

A fellow traveler,

Blake

What’s my next step?

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of handing off faith in your family.

Memorize Psalm 23:  Psalm 23 is a beautiful psalm that reminds us of God’s true character and actions on our behalf. This week, consider leading your child to memorize this psalm. You might use bedtime prayers as a time to work on memorizing this psalm one verse at a time. As your child memorizes each verse, talk about how you have experienced the truth of that verse in your own life.

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of deepening your own faith.

Meditate on Psalm 23:  Life is difficult but God is with us in the midst of difficult and painful situations. This week, consider memorizing and meditating on Psalm 23, a psalm that beautifully states who and where God is in the midst of difficult circumstances. Consider making this psalm or portions of this psalm a part of your daily routine. You might meditate on a phrase as you drive to work by mulling it over in your heart, or you might pray this psalm at regular points through the day. Whatever approach you take, allow this psalm to direct you to the truth of who God is and where he is in the midst of suffering.