I am reconciled

Who am I? I am a father. I am a husband. I am a runner; at least I move faster than a walk. I am a pastor. Yet, these are not who I am. They are just roles I fill. I am something else. I am loved. I am important. I am special. These are closer to who I am. More than roles, these speak to my God-given identity and I long to live into them. There is just one problem. I bear this one other name, this one single identity that threatens to derail it all. I long to throw it off but I have been told for years that it comes from God. I am not sure what to call it but I can sum it up in a well-worn phrase: I am a sinner saved by grace.

On the surface, this sounds so right. So true and biblical. After all, doesn’t Paul say that he is the chief of sinners (1 Timothy 1.16)? If the Apostle Paul identified himself as a sinner, how could I hope for any better? I am at one and the same time both sinner and saint. I am lost and found. I am damned and saved, all at the same time. Actually, I am confused. Maybe that is what I should label this. I am confused, a person who is caught in an identity crisis.

The trouble with calling myself a sinner saved by grace is that it puts me in two camps at the same time. I am both God’s friend and enemy. I don’t know about you, but this has a devastating effect on me for it calls me to holiness but gives me permission to live in debauchery. Can anyone say “split personality”? I am filled with shame and robbed of hope for while I know I am meant for more I am consigned to living out something less. This one single identity threatens to undermine all that God calls me for it makes me wonder just how loved, special and important I really am. How loved, special, or important can someone who is consigned to a life of shame really be? To make matters worse, we have a verse from Scripture to remind us that this is who we truly are.

I know many followers of Jesus who feel like me. To those of you who walk around claiming to be in both camps, I have but one simple statement: We have believed a lie! More accurately, this is akin to Minnie’s “terrible awful” in The Help. It is something that has been given to us under the pretense of being something wonderful when it is really nothing other than a pile of rubbish.

It is impossible to be both a sinner and saved at the same time. We are either saved or we are lost. We are either God’s friend or his enemy. There is no middle ground. There is no such thing as split-personalities in the spiritual realm. We might have gotten this if we had not stopped in the middle of Paul’s sentence to Timothy, for if we keep reading he states that he himself has received eternal life. Yep, that’s right. Paul is not talking about his present standing as a sinner. He is talking about his former identity which makes his present standing as one loved and saved by God all the more amazing.

It is funny how we could have missed this. We sing about it every time we sing Amazing Grace. “I once was lost but now I am found.” Did you catch that? We were once lost but we are not anymore. Something changed. Or how about when we read Paul’s description of sin’s hold on us in Romans 6.11: “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.” We could go on but the point would be the same. If we are sinners we are not saints, but once we become saints, we are no longer sinners.

I know. I can feel the raised eyebrows from this side of cyberspace. I can almost hear the question, “But what about the presence of sin in our lives?” Great question! The presence of sin does not speak to who we are but it speaks more to who we once were, an identity that got worked into our bodies and minds as the normal way of operating. It hangs around for a bit but it is not who we are in Christ or who we desire to be (Romans 7.22-23). And the hope we have is that when we open ourselves to God, this habituation to the old life can be replaced with Christ’s own life (Ephesians 4.20-24).

You and I are not sinners in Christ. We are saints (Romans 1.7, 1 Corinthians 1.2; Ephesians 1.1; Philippians 1.1; Colossians 1.2). We are reconciled (Romans 5.11). We are God’s children (Romans 8.16). We are Jesus’ friends (John 15.14-15). If you are thinking that this doesn’t sound anything like sinner, you are correct. We are no longer who we were. This is the whole point of salvation. To remain a sinner is to have Christ’s sacrifice mean nothing and effect nothing. In Christ, we are no longer who we were. So that means we have permission to stop identifying ourselves in this way. How about we come up with a new way, a way that is more in keeping with who we really are? Personally, I am partial to the way Jesus identified us. It probably sounds something like this: “Hello. My name is _______, and I am God’s friend.”

A fellow traveler,

Blake

What’s my next step?

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of handing off faith in your family.

Hand off a Christ-centered identity: Identity is something we give to our children through what we say and do. One way we can ensure that we are handing off a Christ-centered identity is to make room for Christ in what we say or do. One easy way to do this is to spend time every day reading about Christ together. You can do this with younger children by spending time reading an age-appropriate children’s Bible, and by reading the Gospels to your older children. Take time to chat about who Jesus is and what he does, but also take time to note what this means for who you and your children are to God.

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of deepening your own faith.

Spend time listening to God: Many of us live caught between the conflicting identities of sinner and saint. This week, consider making room for God to speak your true identity over you. You might do this by meditating on Romans 6.5-14. You can do this by reading this passage aloud slowly. Pause and allow the words to sink in. Read the text aloud once more listening for words or phrases which God highlights for you. Hold onto these and read the text aloud once more. Sit with God and ask him to speak what he wishes to say to you through these words and phrases from Scripture. Listen and respond with thanksgiving as one who has been reconciled to God.