A brand new life

“When you are with me, how do my hurts show?”  That’s a hard question to ask. How do you start this kind of conversation? “So, what do you think of the weather? Who do you think is going to win the Final Four? Oh, and by the way, when you are with me, how do my hurts show?” It just doesn’t seem to flow. Not only does it not flow, but I am afraid of how the conversation will go after I pop the question. What might follow would certainly not be pretty. Depending on how well the person knew me, it might get touchy. Worst of all, what they said would probably reinforce what I already know.

You see, I already know that I hurt. I know that my hurt bleeds through.  My hurt bleeds through in my insecurity and neediness. My hurt pops up in the form of impatience. Sometimes my hurt leads to a tendency to be bossy. I prefer the view that I just know what you should be doing, but others don’t see it that way. I even know that a good bit of the time my hurt causes me to restrain my love and resist accepting love from others. I know myself fairly well. After all, I have to live with myself. Hearing someone rattle off a litany of my wounding would only reinforce what I know, that I have flaws and wounds which influence me and cause me to hurt others. Do I really need to hear what I already know, that I am hurt and it seems like I will always be?

What if someone offered you the opportunity of a fresh start, the path to a brand new life? What if someone offered you a way to deal with the hurt, to deal with it in such a way that it no longer influenced you and caused you to hurt others? Would you take it? I know I would, but who has the power to make such an offer? I don’t like to hurt and I certainly don’t want to hurt others. It is just that I have not ever found anything that makes me stop hurting. I can numb the pain. I can ignore it. I can pretend that I don’t really hurt. In the end, I still hurt. What I wouldn’t give for a way to deal with the hurt.

There has been no end to those who have promised that they have a surefire way of dealing with hurt. I have tried a few of them here and there along the way, but nothing ever lives up to its promise. This is why I am a bit skeptical when someone tells me they have another surefire way, even if that person is Jesus. Jesus came along and threw his hat in the ring, offering a way to a fresh start. His way is a bit different. His way  for dealing with pain isn’t anything we would think up on our own. It doesn’t have anything to do with being fair. It isn’t about coming out on top. His way is about losing, about absorbing pain and rejecting the right to get even. He calls it forgiveness and he promises that it really does work, that it is the only surefire way to deal with pain. Maybe. Sometimes, when you hurt bad enough, even the phrase, “Trust me, I am the Son of God” isn’t enough to gain an audience. But then there is that resurrection thing.

Knowing that we were a tough crowd, Jesus decided to put on a little demonstration. He decided to show us just how it worked. In a single move, Jesus took a world of pain into himself. He took it in and allowed it to overcome him. He lost. He paid the price of the pain and it killed him. Some experiment. . .but then he got back up. Jesus got back up, dusted himself off and moved on. Jesus showed that there was another side to forgiveness. He showed that forgiveness actually works, that those who take in the pain and step around the right to get even are the ones who find they are still standing on the other side of the pain. In fact, when you look around, he seems to be the only one standing. As he is standing there, it is almost as if I can hear him say, “Now you try. I promise that it works.”

A fellow traveler,

Blake

What’s my next step?

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of handing off faith in your family.

Talk about forgiveness: Talk freely and openly with your children about forgiveness. One possible way you might do this is before they go to sleep to ask them the following questions: (1) How does your heart feel tonight? (2) Did anyone do anything that hurt your heart today? (3) Did you do anything to hurt someone’s heart today? (4) What might it look like to forgive or ask for forgiveness? You might conclude your discussion by praying the Lord’s Prayer which speaks to forgiveness (Matthew 6.9-13).

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of deepening your own faith.

Meditate on God’s forgiveness revolution: This week consider allowing God to teach you about God’s revolutionary movement of forgiveness by pondering the following questions: (1) Consider asking at least three people the following question: “When you are with me, how do my hurts show?;”  (2) If I was offered a way to deal with my hurt, would I take it?