Loving others starts with loving God

When I am really honest, I have to admit that I am selfish and self-centered. Life really is about me. Sometimes I try to hide it, even from myself. Some days I can pretend that I don’t have a problem with self-infatuation. Yet, on a regular basis it pops out and stares me in the face. Just a few moments ago I had one of those moments, one that was a pretty good reminder that, yep, I still have a long way to go to making life less about me.

It is the start of Flower City Work Camp and the kids are arriving. I hear their footsteps in the halls. Their shouts and greetings to one another are drowned out only by the calls of worried parents asking about rooms and clean underwear. Yes, my office is near the boys’ sleeping quarters. Every year they come and the go, a week of teens pouring out their lives for God and others. I should be so thankful and overjoyed. I am not.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Flower City Work Camp. I love what they do. Every year I am amazed and humbled at what God does in and through the lives of hundreds of teens. And, every year I spend the whole week grumbling and wishing they were more considerate of people like me. So what is the issue? I really don’t mind having over 400 kids in the building. I don’t mind the yells and the shouts. I actually enjoy the loud, bone-jarring music pumping out of the sanctuary. I even can put up with the smell that is already beginning to drift from the boy’s wing. No mom, they didn’t pack clean underwear. What gets me every year is the bathrooms. Imagine for a moment that 40 kids showed up at your house and you have one bathroom. That is what it is like for me during Flower City Work Camp. This is the week that when you need to go, there is no guarantee you will be able to go, if you know what I mean.

Just a few minutes ago I made my way down the hall thinking, now is the time, the last time, my last chance to go. The sign on the road of life just read, “Next rest stop 5 days ahead.” With resolve and firm determination I headed to what I knew would be my one last time to use the bathroom this week. When I reached the bathroom I found it full. Not only was it full but every single bathroom was full and the teens haven’t all arrived yet. Have you ever seen those movie scenes where the main character falls to his knees and shakes his fists as he cries out at the unseen and unfair fates directing his life? Well, I almost had one of those moments. I wanted to scream and shout. I wanted to grab the nearest person and stammer out my wild invective, “Can’t a guy just get a break?!?!” I am happy to report that I didn’t. No harm has befallen any innocent teen. Rather, I am sitting in my chair, waiting and recognizing that I just had another one of those “life is really all about me” moments.

I suppose that I could justify myself and my bad attitude. I could say something about kids needing to respect their elders or something like that. I just can’t bring myself to do anything of the sort. I can’t do it because the words of Jesus about loving others as I love myself keep going through my head (Matthew 22.39). In plain terms, life isn’t about me. It isn’t about seeing that my needs are met. Life is really about others, about cherishing and serving them. In this case, life is about saying, “No, please go ahead. I can wait.”

Here’s the trouble with life not being about me. It is really hard. Actually, living a “not about me” life is impossible for me. I just don’t have it in me to put others first, to cherish them. There is simply too much of me in the way. At the end of the day I don’t have enough love left over from loving myself to love anyone else. Maybe that is why Jesus didn’t say to love others first but first to love God and then others (Matthew 22.34-40). Perhaps in loving God fully and completely I am freed to love others. Perhaps it is in embracing the one who is love that I discover that I am loved and thus empowered and enabled to love others in the same way that I love myself. I can’t love others until I first love God and discover that love is best experienced when shared not hoarded. Perhaps it is in loving God that I discover that the good life starts when I stop seeking it for myself and start seeking it for others. Maybe this week can be different for me. I know it can, but only if I begin with a divine embrace.

A fellow traveler,

Blake Shipp

Spiritual Formation Pastor

What is my next step?

I encourage you to consider the following as a way of handing off faith to your family. . .

Become a Matthew 22.34-40 family: This week, consider making Matthew 22.34-40 part of your family’s rhythms. One way you might do this is by praying this text with your kids before they go to bed each night and discussing in what ways they were able to show love for God and others that day. Another option might be having a discussion based on Matthew 22.34-40 as you reflect on the day’s events at the dinner table each evening. At the very least, consider displaying this text in a prominent place in your home so that it will serve as a visual reminder of how God desires people to live.

I encourage you to consider the following as a way of nurturing your own faith. . .

Memorize Matthew 22.34-40: We can learn to live as God has called us to live when we take the truth about life into the depths of our being and make it a part of who we are. One easy way to do this is through Scripture memory. In memorizing Scripture we make it a part of who we are so that it can shape and guide us. This week, seek to memorize Matthew 22.34-40, a Scripture passage that speaks about the very essence of the good life. You might memorize this passage by writing it down on an index card and carrying it with you through the day so that you can reference it. At a minimum, seek to review your card when you get up in the morning, at lunch, and right before you go to bed. As the text finds its place in your mind, review it and meditate upon it throughout your day. Allow God to speak to you through this verse. You might consider journaling what God says to you through this verse and sharing these thoughts with your spouse or your community group.