“I remember when. . .” “When I was. . .” “There was a time.
. .”
These statements used to kill me. The moment I heard them I
would brace myself for what I knew was going to be an unpleasant reminder of
how life “back in the day” was so much better than life now. I would steel
myself for an onslaught of someone else’s memories that were more appropriately
classified as wishes for a time past. I hated it so much that I promised I
would never ever, not ever in a million trillion years talk like that. So, you
can imagine my chagrin with the reality that I have counted at least three
times today in which I have prefaced my statement with, “When I was. . .”
The past. We are so enamored with it. The past stands, in
our mind’s eye, as that time which was good, better, a time when things went
right. In many cases, our memories are true. There was a time when we were
happy. There was a time when that relationship was positive. There was a time
when things were easier. There was a time when we had money and free time. There
was a time when we felt close to God, spiritually. There was a time. . .but
that time has passed and now all we have is now, and now doesn’t feel all that
great. Now feels somewhat less than, somewhat cheaper than before. Now feels
like too little mayonnaise spread over too much bread. Now stinks, so we long
for the past. It was better, better back in the day.
Sometimes it was better back in the day, but a funny thing
starts to happen when we look back. The more often we look back, the more our fascination
with the past grows. The past beckons us, woos us, and we become caught in the
grip of its siren song. The more we look back, the more we long to go back, the
more we strive to go back. Our stories of what it once was like get twisted
into desires that others would make it like it once was which is always one
step away from pushing those desires upon others. And then it happens. We get
stuck, stuck in the past unable to see what is going on right in front of us.
The world and others begin to pass us by as if we are no longer there, and we
are not. We are in the past, wasting our lives away in what was as what is
rushes on.
I have seen many a person waste away in what once was,
growing insane pining for better days, better days past. Life becomes tasteless.
Relationships are meaningless. The world, for them, ceases to exist. It is
tragic and it is common. It is an existence from which Jesus came to free us.
When Jesus rose from the dead he could have said, “Well, glad that is over. Now
let’s get back to things like they used to be.” There is just one thing: he
didn’t. When Jesus rose from the dead and Mary gripped him, longing for things
as they once were, for the teachings to come back, the healings to come back,
the parties with the outcasts like herself to come back, Jesus simply looked at
her and said, “Don’t hold on to me.” Simply put, “You can’t go back.” The past
is just that, the past. We can’t go back. We can only live in the present but
how do you live in a present that doesn’t feel as good as the past? We live
there by the power of the resurrection. The resurrection puts the past where it
belongs, in the past but it places the present in its proper place. With the
resurrection, the present is new, transformed. The present includes intimacy that
once was not, a deeper intimacy. The resurrection brings life, life that once
was not. The resurrection brings new life, new hope, new joy. The resurrection
makes all things new. . .in the present. By the power of the resurrection, we
can experience all these things and more. . .if we will let go of the past and
cling to the present.
A fellow traveler,
Blake
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