Use it or lose it

This past weekend we marked a major milestone in our house. We began the giving of the almighty allowance. Rachel and I have been chatting about giving the kids an allowance for about six months. We have debated the benefits and drawbacks of linking of allowances to chores. We have chatted about appropriate amounts. We have talked to the kids about receiving an allowance. Finally, with much anticipation and little fanfare, the receiving of allowances began.  Two sets of four one dollar bills and four quarters were laid upon the table, one set for Addison and one for Hayden. The principle of giving a tithe was discussed and two quarters were set aside by each. The principle of saving was laid out and two more quarters were placed gingerly in special piggy banks. Finally, four precious dollars were held in the hands of a six year old boy and a seven year old girl. With a sparkle in their eye they said, almost in unison, “Let’s go shopping!”

Little did I know that an in-depth accounting of monies already possessed had already been undertaken and that such monies were in Ziplock bags, bags to which the four allowance dollars were added. Not only had there been an accounting but an agenda of which stores to visit had been made and I was the designated chauffer. We climbed into the car and headed out in the rain on our special first allowance spending trip.

What ensued next can only be described in terms of an exercise in futility. Ziplock bags gripped in clinched fists set us apart from those who surrounded us, that and the constant question of “How much does this cost?” What immediately became apparent, after a quick pass yielded nothing that the kids really wanted or needed, was that these two folks, so recently flush with cash, had every intention of spending it all. What mattered was not that they actually wanted what they were buying. What mattered most was that they spend everything they had. Rachel and I went from item to item, up and down aisles doing our best parrot impersonation. “You don’t have to spend everything. You can hold on to what you have.” Repeat this about five million times and you get pretty close to reality. Add in the “You don’t even like that. Why do you want it?” and you are right there with us. After two stores and about an hour’s time, we walked back to the car dejected and downtrodden. Actually, I was elated but the kids had the smell of failure about them. We had not spent it all.

It was easy to drive away thinking I had succeeded in some way. I had somehow successfully begun the process of teaching my children that you don’t have to spend everything you get. But just where did they pick up this terrible idea? Wherever they got it, this idea was deep. I was already thinking of strategies of how to address it when it hit me. I do the same thing. I may not rush out the moment I get my paycheck, running around the dollar store looking for treasures. Then again, I don’t have to. The moment I get my check, every penny is already allocated. I know where I am going to spend what I now have and probably, if I am honest, have plans for how to spend the next paycheck, or two, or three, or. . .Oh, you get the point.

The point is that I battle with the same thing I witnessed in our kids, the desire to spend it all. I know some of you are reading this wondering how this could be a problem. How is it a problem to spend money? Isn’t that what it is for? Last time I checked, money was for spending. The problem seems to be, at least to me, this idea that just because we have it we have to spend it all and spend it on ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we need something. It doesn’t matter if we even want what we are buying. What matters is that we have some cash and that means we must spend it. Somehow this just doesn’t seem right, but it sure does feel good, at least I tell myself it does. It feels good to spend money and money is meant to be spent. . .spent on me.

This seems so right, and it is, in part. Money is meant to be spent and some of it on me but some of it is meant to be spent on you too. Money is God’s gift, his gift to provide people with what they need, what they desire, and what they enjoy (1 Timothy 6.17-19). Here’s the kicker. “People” includes more than me. That means that rushing out and spending it all just because we can might feel good but only half as good as spending was meant to feel. The enjoyment is magnified when we hold some of what we have back and we spend it on one another, on the needs, the desires, the enjoyments of others.

It seems a bit contrary to reality. How can spending what I have on someone else actually magnify the enjoyment? I admit, even I doubted, so I tried it on for size. I took out a Starbucks card someone had given me and stuck it in my pocket on my way out the door to meet a friend. If you know anything about me you know how much I love coffee, particularly Starbucks coffee. You might also know that if I get a Starbucks card it is as good as spent, spent on me. When we gave our orders I offered to pay, spending what I had on what we both could enjoy. You know what? Those were the best two cups of coffee I ever had.

A fellow traveler,

Blake

What’s my next step?

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of handing off faith in your family.

Teach your children how to budget:  Using money in God-honoring ways takes intentionality. If you give your child an allowance, or if they have a job, consider taking time to help them develop a budget. A budget is simply a plan for how we intend to use the money we have. A good budget should include a plan for giving to God, saving for the future, providing for needs and desires, and for the blessing of others. Help your child see that with this plan they can enjoy what God has given them and bring enjoyment into the lives of others.

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of deepening your own faith.

Develop a budget:  Using money takes great intentionality. Apart from intentionality our use of money is driven by our passions/desires and cultural mores. A budget is simply a plan for how we intend to use the money God has given for us to manage. A good budget makes provision for both the present and the future, and recognizes our needs as well as the needs of others.  In developing a budget, start first with what you make after taxes and then set aside a percentage for the work of God’s kingdom. Plan on giving this to your community of faith before you do anything else. Next, set aside for future needs including both emergency needs and retirement. Next, evaluate your true needs and make adequate provision. Finally, divide what remains between personal enjoyment and the blessing of others. Allow God to direct you in the appropriate balance at this point. Once you have developed your budget, don’t budge it. Stick to it and live within the parameters you have set.