Patient

So it is Monday, and I am sitting at my computer noodling on patience. I am supposed to be writing a blog about developing a life that is open to God and how patience is an aspect of this life, but nothing is coming. No stories. No anecdotes. No wisecracks. Nothing! To be honest, it is a bit disconcerting. No. That isn’t the feeling. How about frustrating? Trying? Vexing? Annoying? Maddening? Yes! That’s the one. Maddening! I feel like shouting, “Don’t you know I need to write this blog about patience? Don’t you understand I have to get this done? Can’t you give me something on patience? NOW!!”

Well. . .maybe I am seeing a bit of the humorous side of God today. Or, maybe, he is trying to teach me something. As I have been noodling on patience I keep coming back to what it is. What is patience, really? I think that for me, patience is the ability to wait. No. That’s not really my working definition. When I am honest, it is more than that. Patience is the ability to wait for something that I know is coming. . .soon. I can be patient. I can wait as long as I know I will get what I want and I will get it soon. When I am uncertain of the outcome, uncertain of what is coming, I find that I am anything but patient. I can’t wait.

You know, as I have been thinking about patience, I am not convinced that my definition is on the mark. The more I consider patience as a virtue, the more I am becoming aware that it is simply the ability to wait. Patience is stepping aside and waiting, making room for what may or may not happen without respect to when. In other words, patience is waiting and taking what comes in quiet trust; it is releasing my expectations of what should be and simply taking what is. By this definition, I am anything but patient, for my waiting is always coupled with expectation, and when my expectations are not met. . .well, I usually step forward to make sure they are. I do this with people. I do this with myself. I even do it with God.

Here’s the thing about stepping forward to make sure my expectations are met (that is, being impatient): when I step forward I usually get in the way. How do I know? I know I get in the way because usually what happens resembles something akin to a fully-fueled 747 going down shortly after takeoff. I have created more than one tragic scene of smoldering ruin and carnage. In the aftermath, I am keenly aware that somehow I got in the way. Stepping forward and making sure my expectations are met is anything but the best way to go, but I struggle with moving forward differently. I struggle to be patient.

So what’s the issue? I think that the issue has to do with letting go of my expectations, and this is rooted in a fundamental lack of trust. I hold others and God to meeting my expectations, because I don’t trust that they—particularly God—have what is best for me in mind, or that they will give it to me. Without trust I can’t let go of my expectations. As long as I hold to my expectations I can’t wait. Patience cannot exist in my life. So maybe I don’t need patience now as much as I need a deeper sense of trust, a deeper sense that God is for me and that he has what is best for me. With this firmly established, I might just find that it is easier to wait.

A fellow traveler,

Blake

What’s my next step?

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of handing off faith in your family.

Pray Habakkuk 3.2 as a family: Listening to God is a community endeavor. We learn to do this starting in our families. This week, consider using the table tent containing Habakkuk 3.2 to guide a family prayer time. You might consider setting aside a time, perhaps a few minutes before or after meals, to say this prayer together. After saying the prayer, be still and quiet as a family, seeking to listen for God’s response and to sense God’s presence. For younger children consider pausing for 2-3 minutes. For teenagers, consider pausing and sitting in God’s presence for 5-10 minutes. You might consider talking as a family about your experience of sitting in God’s presence.

We encourage you to consider engaging in the following as a way of deepening your own faith.

Give patience a chance: Patience is a virtue that develops as we grow a quiet trust that God is for us and that he has what is best for us. Patience does not develop in the times we need to trust God the most but as we discover that we can trust God when we need him the least. As these experiences build, we discover that the God who is faithful in the small things is also faithful in the big things. One way to learn to trust God in the small things—to develop patience—is to intentionally place yourself in situations where you must trust God. You might do this by intentionally choosing the slowest check-out lane or driving in the slowest lane on the highway and refusing to pass. In these situations we force ourselves to trust that God is going to care for our time, our families, and ourselves. In learning to trust we develop patience so that when the big things come we find we can engage them with quiet trust.