Trying to live like Jesus without Jesus

When it comes to the disciples, I have my favorite. I understand Thomas with his doubts. Matthew would have been a lot of fun as he seemed to throw the parties. James and John were certainly the fiery ones. But, it is with Peter that I resonate. I love Peter. A lot of people give Peter a bad rap. Impulsive. Brash. Quick tempered and a bit slow on the draw. Sounds like my kind of guy. We probably would have been friends. When I consider his life, I don’t think we should give Peter a hard time. I actually think that he got it right more often than he got it wrong.

Take for instance his answer to Jesus’ question about who he was. Peter got it about Jesus. He knew Jesus was the Messiah. He may not have had the details but he certainly got the big picture. Or what about his promise to die with Jesus? He may have been lacking on the follow through, but he seems to have understood what Jesus meant when he told the disciples they needed to pick up their cross and follow. Of all the instances we could point to, for me, Peter shines brightest in his walking on the water.

Tired. Soaked to the bone. Probably a bit frightened by the storm, there Peter is trying to get across the lake with the rest of the disciples when he sees Jesus walking on the water. Now, I don’t know about you but that might be a bit of a shock to see Jesus walking on the water, so let’s give the disciples a pass on their shouts about Jesus being a ghost. I would probably say the same thing. Here’s what is so impressive; after the shock of seeing Jesus, Peter demonstrates that he gets it. He asks Jesus to call him out on the water. He wants to be like Jesus. He wants to do what Jesus is doing. I don’t think that Peter thought that walking on water was a cool party trick that he wanted to learn. He got it that being an apprentice of Jesus meant learning to live like Jesus. If Jesus walked on water then as his apprentice Peter wanted to walk on water. What he discovered was that living like Jesus was harder than it looked. Stepping out of the boat, Peter started walking. He was doing it! He was living like Jesus, and then he wasn’t! He was sinking. I imagine there was a bit of anxiety in his voice as he called out for help, but Jesus was there ready to help. He asked a simple question, “Why did you doubt?” It was a good question, an honest question in light of all Peter had seen. I don’t think Jesus is rebuking Peter. Actually, I think Jesus is pointing Peter to reality, the reality that Peter couldn’t do it on his own.

Peter did doubt. He did struggle. Why? I don’t know, maybe just because he was Peter. What he discovered was the fact that he couldn’t walk on water on his own. In the end, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because Jesus and Peter walked on water together. Maybe that was the way it was supposed to be anyway. What Peter couldn’t do on his own he is able to do with Jesus, together, the two of them walking back to the boat, on the water.

I get Peter. I get his desire to be like Jesus. I have it in me too. I so want to be like Jesus. I so want to do what he did. Another way to put it is I want to live full-on in the realities of the Kingdom of God. I can’t tell you how many times I have struck out trying to live like Jesus. My wife and kids have probably lost count of the times they have seen me start out walking only to sink below the waves. Every time I cry out and Jesus is right there and he is asking me why I doubt. I don’t really have an answer. I just do. I can’t help it. I am too small, too insignificant and finite, too little of whatever it takes to do it on my own. As Jesus asks about my doubt, I don’t hear him rebuking. I hear him calling me to lean into reality, the reality that I am not enough, the reality that I can’t live like him, on my own. What I am realizing is that, like Peter, I can live like Jesus. I too can walk on water. I just have to walk with Jesus. I have to have him take me by the hand and together we walk. I am discovering that living full-on in the Kingdom isn’t about stepping out of the boat. I am learning that living in the Kingdom is stepping into Jesus. Living in the Kingdom starts with a desperate cry, a gripping hand and a slow walk of togetherness on the water. That is life in the Kingdom.

A fellow traveler,

Blake Shipp

Spiritual Formation Pastor

What is my next step?

I encourage you to consider the following as a way of handing off faith to your family. . .

Ask Jesus for help: When Peter discovered he couldn’t walk on water on his own, he asked Jesus for help. Peter’s example can serve as a reminder and example of how to live in the Kingdom of God. Ask for help. As a family, consider spending time each night asking Jesus for help living in the Kingdom. For example, at the dinner table each night select one person who will mention briefly a situation that they need help with. This might be something like showing kindness or being patient. Have them offer a brief prayer asking for help and then have each member of the family offer their own brief prayer asking for Jesus to help. Focus on one person each night and rotate through the family, recognizing together that we need Jesus to walk on water.

I encourage you to consider the following as a way of nurturing your own faith. . .

Lean on Jesus: God created us as dependent creatures. We were never meant to go it alone. Life, our very breath depends on God. Living in the Kingdom involves recognizing and acting upon this reality which in turn leads to the enlivening and empowering of our lives. This week, I would encourage you to return to the breath prayer “Jesus my king, lead me.” Let it soak through your life reminding you that you cannot do it alone. Let it instill in you a new vision for living in the Kingdom, a vision of leaning on Jesus for a slow walk of togetherness.